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Waiting in the Waiting Room
By matt | September 8, 2008
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Waiting Room Demographics
I spent a good part of Sunday in a waiting room. My friend continues to struggle with his sickness, now accompanied by complications. He is in the ICU. He is about as sick as a person my age can get…
In the waiting room, it was a group of 30-somethings standing vigil, lending support to his wife. Both sides of their family live in other cities, so an informal group gathered in support while family organized flights and made the trip.
It was strange to look around the room, only seeing people my age. In the past, there has always been someone older who helps, guides people, keeps things together.
But on Sunday, it was just us. I’m only in my 30’s, but I’ve never felt older…felt more aged…even weary.
Die Old
Another friend of mine lost his childhood pal to an unexpected medical problem. His pal was engaged to be married. He told me how shocked everybody was that his friend passed. Not only was
there no warning, but he was young.
Today, it’s so strange for people to be seriously ill or to die while still in their 30’s or 40’s. Maybe a hundred years ago it would be less surprising, but not in 2008. Right?
Grew Up Fast
Right now, there are many books and magazine articles that suggest marketing and computer technology are contributing to the infantilization of modern people, especially men.
Perhaps marketing and technological toys are contributing factors. However, it is also possible that the key is the fact that death seems so distant until after you are 50, 60 or older.
If we don’t feel threatened by death, feel our mortality or experience its presence until much later in life, it seems that we would be less likely to “grow up” as those articles suggest we must. Without the pressure of death, does infantilization emerge as a side-effect of longer lives and reduced suffering?
…and, when talking about children soldiers, young survivors of disaster, and other similar unfortunates, don’t we say that they “grew up before their time” or something whatever? We indicate that the presence of suffering and death made the children into adults, right?
If nothing else, after this weekend: being this close to the real and visible struggle between death and a man like me has been important. Yeah, it causes some anxiety and fear. It also is sobering and clarifying. (And sad, too. I’m leaving out the parts where people are sad because I imagine you already understand this part…)
Topics: none of the above |
September 8th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
‘Infantilization’ - you may be on to something. If you list all American wars and the number of soldiers who died in each, you see clearly that the number has fallen steadily in the last 150 years. The value of life has increased. And yet it’s always bothered me that even though life is so precious now–we insure it, surround it with straps and airbags, sue over its loss–we don’t cherish it. People waste time. They’re extraordinarily good at going through days, weeks, even years without facing a significant challenge or having a dissenting thought.
You’re having a rough week, that’s for sure. I hope things get better soon.